“Are we close?” “Were we close?” “Are we friends?” “Do I psychically feel what he feels?” “What is it like to be an identical twin?”
“Is it fun being an identical twin?” “Would his wife know the difference if you slipped into bed with her in the dark?” (A relative asked me this
last question on the wedding day of my identical twin brother Willie.)
“Are you sure you’re an identical twin?” “Who’s better looking?” "Who’s smarter?” “Which one is the bad one?” “Did you marry someone similar to Willie’s wife?”
These are just a sample of the myriad of questions I have been asked my whole life and some I have asked myself. I have asked myself in particular what the spiritual significance is of being an identical twin.
I write this paper on what it was and is like for me as an identical twin from a physical, spiritual, emotional and intellectual point of view. I also present my journey towards finding my core, my divine spark, my uniqueness against the backdrop of Miriam Dior’s” Core Energetics Map Structure,” which is based on the lectures of Eva Pierrakos.
I wrote these during important times in my own process. I hope they resonate with you.
Change of Heart
A new vista an old place a change of heart an opening to you to me
A friend shared a twisted fate of pain
A mirror of me
A fool couldn't see until I was willing to be free of this negative tree
That I've held on to for so many years
Hidden in my dreams repeating its theme
Hold back until you give me or I'll kill you
Because you haven't treated me the way I wanted you to
So I wouldn't have to be free to be me
So I hated thee
Hid it from me
As I kept my heart closed
Rejection echoed out cried out and hid in my house
And grew out of my house
As fear spread out until the numbness had to move out and breakout
Until God shouted
YOU MUST MOVE OUT
As my daughter cried out No Daddy No Daddy don't move out
Frozen walls of my twin years finally stood out
Crying out for my lost soul that was buried under the ground
As tears poured out as a boy moved out as his hand reached out
Slowly — carefully — quietly — joyously — hesitantly — fightingly — disturbingly
and blamingly as all around him was changing imperceptibly
For his heart had been closed since the beginning of time
Which he held on to and even cherished this victim part
He played so well
But underneath was a river of hate he held with innocence
And hope and not me
How could you do this to me
I was lost and a hurricane tidal wave took me and reached out for me
Many years before as God reached out for me
And said, Trust me
He couldn't he didn't he wouldn't I wouldn't
That was then this is now
So please help me to reach out to him-twin to me to you
Mountains of a Son
As I climbing (that mountain)
To reach that peak,
Where we can speak,
Without the need
As years cry out,
About the deeply rooted fears,
That stare at me,
That paralyze me,
That explode in me,
And in my dreams.
I must climb thee,
I must feel me,
I have the power within,
To climb thee,
And to stand free.
~ Charlie Corley
CHARLES I. CORLEY IS A NY STATE LICENSED MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELOR. INSURANCES ACCEPTED (VERIFY WITH PROVIDER).
PHONE: (917) 701-6047. OFFICE: 139 FULTON STREET, 4TH FLOOR, NY NY 10038.
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